I did it .. Finished my third year

Alhamdulillah..The most gratitude to the Almighty Allah, my Love.

Alhamdulillah.. the feeling of relief when the last exam went well.. Even though, as a whole my final year exam wasn't as I expected, but I don't care anymore. as I know that Exam is not everything  Exam alone doesn't make a good engineer. It is the knowledge that you gain throughout the year more matter.   This is not the saying of backing up my back. This is what I supposed to think from the beginning.

I did it :)

Alhamdulillah... third year is finished. that means that, I'm getting into my final year soon after summer vacation. and next year, many faces will be no more in the class since they have finished B.Eng. What a long journey to become an Engineer. But, I am so grateful that Allah gave me chance to study in UK. I really love this country so much.

I have got a kind of mixed feeling now.. I'm happy but not entirely happy :) There are many more challenges to come. Life is not just about getting freedom of finishing exam. The sad part is my best friend, Fahad Shabbir is already finished his B.Eng study and moving to London for the work. What an awkward feeling when you used to be so closed as 3 people, and now 1 people leave. It is so much fun to have a best friend, but when the time to leave comes, that would be your saddest part. That's friendship that we never can buy.

Done with 3rd year, then what? Throughout this semester, I have ignored many bad feeling because I know that I have to do well for this year. I have been pretending that I am okay, been pretending that I am not sad, but now soon after the exam, all the feeling is chasing me. That really made me thing what is actually the meaning of life? I can throw away as much feeling as I can when I have to focus on something, but when that something gone, then what? It is not as simple as that.

I used to give advice for those who tell me that they are not strong, and I simply can give so many speech as in I will be strong if I were in their shoes. In fact, those who seek for advice and had faced it is the winner. I'm not yet a winner. feel so looser when my turn has come and I feel like turning back. What a life.

What comes to my mind today is "life is like give and take" and life has been always like give and take. It just me who just noticed it now. It is like , when Allah gives you so much happiness last time, this time Allah gives so much sadness. When Allah gives you someone, then Allah took someone that you already had. It's a kind of balancing. happy and sad take turn to feel your heart. Sometimes, Allah makes you sad, then Allah makes you happy, then sad, then happy, and the cycle goes on...

But, at the end of the day, the real happiness is when we all managed to get into the heaven. That's the ultimate dream of all the people in the world.. Really wanna see all the people that I love leave happily ever after.

And now, it is the time for me to have a break from reading the engineering book :) Time to read other kind of book :) Time to make my time useful as I am already an adult. I have to really make my time useful for the akhirat sake and dunia sake and for Allah and human beings.

Life is give and take. Life would be so hard if people are selfish.

Hari melawat Stadium

Melawat stadium dan makan :D

For the first time makan kfc kat uk nii... haha.. pernah sekali kat Meadow hall makan zinger burger je, sebab kawan kata zinger je halal kat situ.. Last few days, ade sorang ni craving for kfc, so pergi la makan... not bad, tapi tak boleh lawan la kfc Malaysia kan.. maklum la, tekak orang Melayu.. ayam kfc uk ni rasa macam a bit tasteless.  tapi, boleh la nak ubat rindu...

rindu gila mashed potato kfc! aaa balik ni nak gi makan ngan abah :) harap2 dapat internship so that boleh beli sokmo kat lumut tu.

on the same day jugak, aku pergi melawat Sheffield Wednesday Stadium.. tau kenape tiba2 pergi melawat stadium? kalau beritahu ni mesti korang pelik.. hubby i pon pelik..

sebab kitorang exam kat stadium tu hujung bulan ni *_* pelikkan , exam kat stadium :P haha.. bukan kat tengah2 padang2 k, kat suite dalam stadium tu... hehe.. dah la jauh, kene naik tram, stop ke 8.. awal2 kene keluar dah.. jauh jugak i nak exam kali ni.. besenye nak pergi exam jalan kaki 5 minit je... :))

wherever it is, exam kene score! inshaAllah... semangat last2 minit pun layann je lahh... @_@

stadium ni tak famous pun tapi unik la.. sebab depan stadium ni, ade sungai ^^ so cool.

unik tak? hahaha... tapi sungai nyer takde la lawa seperti yang anda bayangkan... :) cetek je.. tapi, tenang la dapat tengok sungai sekali sekala :))

okay! back to work! exam next Tuesday!! 

chayok2!!

Hidup ini........

Hidup ni ibarat roda. kadang -kadang kita di atas, kadang-kadang kita di bawah.. bila kita happy, kita lupa yang suatu hari nanti Allah akan bagi kita sedih pulak.. what do you expect? Hidup ni bukan untuk bersenang lenang sahaja.. Allah bagi kita ujian supaya kita balik kepada Dia, supaya kita mengadu, kita ingat pada Dia...

Bayangkan kalau hidup kita ni gembira ja..kita mungkin akan lupa pada Allah.. kita mungkin akan lalai dengan segala macam keseronokan yang kita ada. kita tak ada kerisauan untuk mengadu kepada Tuhan..

Tetapi, kehidupan di dunia tidak begitu. Allah cipta gembira, sedih, risau dan macam2 perasaan untuk menguji kita..

Tahun 2012 is my happy year..banyak sangat kegembiraan yang Allah kurniakan.. Bakal suami dapat tawaran belajar uk sgt menggembirakan, then in July selamat menjadi seorang isteri; sempurnakan separuh daripada agama, rasa tenang yang tak pernah rasa sebelumnya, then on wedding day jugak , result exam keluar and dapat first class and 8th in batch.. then bulan 10, alhamdulillah dapat hadiahkan abah  ****** :)) sangat2 happy,.. then bulan 2 Nov, suami fly ke uk :)) then December pergi honeymoon kali ke-2 di Istanbul, Turki... tahun yang sangat menggembirakan aku.. kenangan manis yang takkan dilupakan..

Tapi, tahun 2013... Allahu Allah.... Hanya Allah sahaja yang tahu :( permulaan tahun 2013, Allah telah uji kami satu keluarga dengan ujian yang sangat2 berat...... Allah.... hanya Allah ja yang tahu berapa byk air mata dah mengalir.. tahun yang paling banyak solat hajat selepas tahun 2007.. Pergantungan dirasakan bukan pada manusia lagi, tetapi hanya pada Allah... aku yang dulu agak sanguine bertukar jadi totally phlegmatic... totally introvert sebab rasa nak ngadu kat Tuhan banyak2...

pertengahan 2013, harapan menggunung dan keyakinan yg tinggi terhadap kemenangan pakatan rakyat hancur dek kerakusan sang pencinta jawatan yang sanggup berbuat apa sahaja demi mendapat mandat itu. itulah kerajaan 46 sekarang. aku panggil kerajaan 46 sebab 46% je rakyat yang nak depa teraju negara.. kesian..... tapi nak jugak apa boleh buat.... segala tipu helah anda akan kami (rakyat2) tuntut di makhamah Allah.. kami rakyat marhain takdak kuasa sekarang, korang yang ada kuasa, tapi kami ada ALLAH!! KAMI ADA ALLAH.

begitulah ringkasan 2012 + half 2013..

suka duka, ujian yang hebat semua itu tanda sayangnya Allah kepada hambanya.. Allah sayang saya dan keluarga saya... kami semua nak jumpa balik kat syurga nanti... kami takmau berpisah di akhirat nanti.... mak abah adik2 kita semua inshaAllah menuju ke syurga Allah di akhirat kelak.. kita semua kena kuat! :')

Nasi lemak in Sheffield :)

Percubaan masak nasi lemak lagii.. hehe.. cuba sampai sedap.. selagi tak puas hati, selagi tu keep on belajar masak nasi lemak. hari ni agak berpuas hati sebab sambal dah improved :) tips nye kene masak lama.. baru sedapp... and instead of letak gula sahaja, letak jugak gula merahh... memang best.. tapi kene usaha lagi ni, nak masak sedap-sedap untuk suami :))

Balik nanti nak masak untuk adik2 pulak... ^^

Spring in England :)

Ingat lagi masa first year dulu.. excited sangat nak tengok musim bunga, how pretty it is.. masa first year dulu, musim2 di uk sangat best sebab.. sekarang ni musim agak fluctuate.. dah nak dekat summer ni baru bunga menguntum... bunga tak sebanyak masa  first year dulu.. rindu pulak zaman first year.. how fast time flies.. lepas cuti summer ni inshaAllah I will get into my final year.. Semoga diizinkan oleh Allah :)

Kat UK ni kalau clear weather je mesti excited.. masa tu mula la teringat kat Malaysia.. how I miss Malaysia now.. my family is all there... even how sad I'm with what has happened on 5 May, My heart will still remember my hometown... miss mak abah adik2!

few photos taken at Botanical Garden and uni area..:) love this clear weather! subhanallah..

taken using ipong5 ^_^

Got scolded by abah. sobs

calling home today and talk to abah.. Telling him about my future plan... of pHd and jobs applications, all those things. Then, telling him about something that I made up my mind without discussing with them and end up got scolded! *padan la muka you tuuu*... then, I told my best friend that my dad scolded me, then he said "I support your dad for scolding you".. dushh! amek kau.. haishhh....

Why why why.... I'm too bad in making decision, I admit that! i did something that really crazy. It's actually like this. My lecturer offer me to do summer research with him and offered me 1000 pound for 6 months research. Out of nowhere, me and my friends got the email.. oooo... we managed to know that we are top 9 in the class. so, he offered the research scheme to the top 9 students in the class. What a mess. you know.. because the offer came one month after I booked my flight ticket.I was like eerrrr what should I do?? @_@ so headache of making this kind of decision and end up rejecting that offer and choose to go back. you know why, I dont like to call the flight company and talk to them that i wanna change dates, and this and that.. goshhh... and today, i got scolded by abah for not accepting the offer. pity me. so bad in making decision.

"it's your future, how come you simply rejected the offer" -abah-

Luckily, I have come out with some other plan of doing internship.. Alhamdulillah that Allah gives me chance again... hopefully i get the internship... amiin...

okay.. should've been more matured in making decision next time.

I have a lot of plan currently! but they are all causing headache. was thinking of do B.Eng and Apply funding for Msc. who gonna fund you azah! your JPA surely dont want to layan you. dreaming je la..

okay,, time to cook and packing my staff! bye Sheffield!!!

going to see my hubby!!! yey!!!