What a life - some reflections of annoying things.

what a life.

today, i feel so annoyed with many things/people/systems! i feel annoyed because people are bothering me, systems are "zalim" and things are happening fishily in front of me. 

life is always up and down, and you got to meet so uncountable kinds of people! you better be sabar as sabar is a sword! here are some reflections!

First, one thing that i've learnt the most about it is that "you just dont expect people like the way you thnik" kadang-kadang untuk benda yang jelas mana betul, mana salah, dan you tahu cara you fikir tu betul, then you should be happy, at least you have got knowledge that makes you think that way.

but, in the case where you people are having conflicts of ideas on something, you just quickly reset your brain and say to yourself that those people are not you, they are different human beings, been raised up with totally different background. that's it. 

the second thing that i learnt the most is that please don't think and expect anyone perfect, perfect like "wow, i like to be friend with you, you're always make my life okay/better" ... seriously, no. only Rasulullah is perfect. therefore, when you are in a closed relation with someone, be it friends or relatives, you just bear in mind that everything will not turn as perfect as you wanted it to be. 

The third thing about life is, if there is people A who talk bad about other people B in front of you, you better just stay away from people A. people A is more dangerous than people B, indeed, sometimes. seriously. i am grateful that so far i am surrounded with educated people who seldomly "mengumpat" . Mengumpat without a legal purpose is so so resembles how bad you are in practising Islam. seriously.

have you ever met someone that dislike you by default. from my experience back in SMK, there is one, or two, or three. back then, i was so noob, and totally clueless of why the hell these people dislike me. and you know what, out of those people, all of them are already becoming my friends expect for one. so, i may concluded that, these people dislike me due to some reasons "ada yang cakap sebab aku pandai dari dorang" or what ever reasons la, i dont care, but the point now is the main problem is you guys belum matang lagi masa tu :) so, i forgive you guys :))

but,  the only one who still dislike me. lets flashback a abit, she was my senior at school, one i got into the school with a pure heart for the sake of studying to achieve my ambition, suddenly out of knowhere i smell some kind of jealousy that comes from her! yes, thats the only reason that i can think of! and i just carry on my life and becoming one of the best students. last year, me and my ex schoolmate bumped into her in a shopping complex, shockingly she talked to my friend like i never exist! she did not even look at me. she pretending that i wasnt there. what! then, i came back, i reflect! then recently i decided to email her and say a bit like " i never have anything to do with you but you seems dislike me, i dont care if people dislike me, but i care if i made wrong to people, so if i made wrong to you back in 10 years ago, please forgive me" after writing that, i feel so relief because i am so sure that , i got nothing to do with her, i just know her nama and her face! to be honest, as i grow 24 now, i have learnt so many things about life, and i just dont care about things that not gonna help me to get into syurga Allah.

i tried to do the best things to not troubling people as i dont like people troubling me. whatever i dont like people doing to me, i will totally avoid from doing so. and please people around me, if you ever notice that i have weakness in something, please dont let me jump into the weakness and ruining my other important things in life.

the last thing about life that i wanna write today is : have you ever met people that search for you when they are in need and leave you/ forget you/ dont care about you when there are happy/ no need your help anymore/ have lots of other friends/stable/ ? if you dont have one, you are lucky because people around you appreciated your existence whenever they happy or not happy. but me, i have few. but,  it's okay. those people might not know the importance of jaga hati orang lain. and these people may having friends that only can hang out when they are happy and started to find someone else when they are sad. whatever it is. i dont care so long as i dont do that to people.

the big lesson to me is, your husband is your best friend ever. he is the one who never jealous of your big success, the person who never envy, who always support you, the person who always wanna look you happy, yes, your husband is your true friends! 

Setahun berlalu

Setahun dah berlalu, suatu peristiwa yang memberi impak besar dalam kehidupan besar kepada aku dan orang-orang yang aku paling sayang. sedih macam mana pun, harus diingat bahawa Allah ialah tuhan yang maha adil, maha penyayang. setiap kesedihan yang dikurniakan akan disusul dengan seribu hikmah yang Allah telah rancang. Allah takkan biarkan hambaNya bersedih berpanjangan. di sebalik kesedihan tu, Allah nak hambaNya lebih dekat kepadaNya. Alhamdulillah, actually salah satu hikmah yang besar dah dapat dilihat. Alhamdulillah Allah, semoga kesabaran itu membawa ke syurga.

Allah, ringankan beban hambaMu itu..... Engkau tuhan yang maha penyayang..

Lagu yang menenangkan.... nyanyian Opick, Cahaya hati.

Allah engkau dekat penuh kasih sayang
Takkan pernah engkau biarkan hamba-Mu menangis
Karna kemurahan-Mu
Karna kasih sayang-Mu
Hanya bila diri-Mu
Ingin nyatakan cinta
Pada jiwa yang rela dia kekasih-Mu
Kau selalu terjaga yang memberi segala

 Allah Rahman Allah Rahim
Allahu Ya Ghafar Ya Nurul Qolbi
Allah Rohman Allah Rahim
Allahu Ya Ghafar Ya Nurul Qolbi

Di setiap nafas di segala waktu
Semua bersujud memuji memuja asma-Mu
Kau yang selalu terjaga yang memberi segala


Setiap mahluk bergantung pada-Mu
Dan bersujud semesta untuk-Mu
Setiap wajah mendamba cinta-Mu cahaya-Mu

Yaa Allah Ya Rahman
Yaa Allah Yaa Alllah Yaa Allah
Ya Nurul Qolbi
Yaa Allah

terima kasih Allah, ala kulli hal.

Mengharapkan yang terbaik untuk 2014

Bismillah..
Assalamualaikum.. hello again my blog.. it's been long since my last update. too many things to catch up on te few weeks before 2013 ending. currently, i am in my lovely sometimes annoying second home which is IC (main library of my university). to be honest, I am so happy staying in this big warm building all day all week. the idea of reading and typing in my room is crap. because my room is weirdly cold and i cant bear with it. i've tried already and i ended up sleepy and ready passively which is annoying. therefore, everyday i will make my move to IC to do many things. not only study but also youtubing as i wish.

today, i plan not to type my final year project report as im in the mood to do revision for my only one exam. just now, i saw someone who i guess is typing her report. i saw her face was so monyok like my face all day before when i was typing my research. when i doing my research, i always wondering am i doing a  beneficial work. sometimes i think what i type is rubbish. is this research? questioning myself with no returning anwer. therefore, i just entertain myself by thinking that my reseach is important for me to grad as an engineer. i always want to grad wit first class honour. been getting first class for last three years mean that i have to retain the grade to make my effort in the past three years worth it. rite? however, i always want to learn as much as i could in this final year. so that i am not graduating with a blank mind.

to be honest, the feeling of getting ino new year of 2014 is not that exciting. i am happy as 2013 has passed because it is my most horrible year ever, i would say. the year in which i cried the most and it unconsciously changed my personality from sanguine to plagmatic. i hope i always plagmatic since it suits engineer character.huhh. the sad feeling is about leaving sheffield for good this year, with the permission of the Almighty. ahh.. i cant think of the moment when i take a train and flight and leave this lovely country for good. the moment i waited the most before but now, i feel so not happy to leave this country as i fall in love with this country already. but, if i want to stay leaving here, i have to pursue study. and i dont understand why my sponsor doesnt reply my email yet regarding that. i might end up just follow the current. future is so complicated.

i'm hoping a better year this time. i want to cry no more. i pray for the happiness of my beloved brother. i want to see everybody around me happy. and i want everybody around me always remember Allah as thats the only things that we can call as inner peace. inner peace is priceless. i dont care if you less succeed in your study so long as you are an obedient to parents and Allah. as an eldest daughter, i will always try the best to help my siblings, in all aspects the best i could.

hoping to create and appriciate more moment this year,
may Allah ease.
may Allah bless.

salam from Sheffield, UK

Funny Friday

Haha.. nak gugur jantung hari >_< boleh pulak la sorang cousin kesayangan ni cakap dia suka kat i since first time he met me, masa tu i dah sekolah menengah and sekarang baru nak cerita. wakaka. cerita sekadar suka2 je la... hati tetap pada pasangan masing2 yang sekarang of course! hahahah... mengarut betul la... dah la hari jumaat nii.. org baru nak rehat2, nak tenangkan fikiran, ade je yang nak buat lawak kan :D :D

Tahun depan dia nak kahwin :) err i rasa i patut datang tutup muka time tuuu .....seriously kelakar gile bila cousin suka cousin :D


Now, nak cakap pasal sem ni... huagggrrrr... actually assignment belum siap lagi, ade dua submissions next week ok! and today, another assignment will be released! haaahh.. working like robot these few days. staying at IC for nearly 10 hours everyday, alone! thats sounds so stressful and indeed it is sftressful. this is all for the sake of learning something. If i dont bother to explore and really learn, I would not work this hard. but today, i feel like taking one day break because it is Friday. Friday is a day which I have to reflect my days and reflect everything I did...

This sem really taught me how to be independent. doing work all alone because each and everyone has different project. so we kind of could not discuss as no one understand your project except your supervisor. talking about my final year project, I kind of awkward to bombard questions to him  like I did to other lecturers. may be because the way he answered is kind of simple and doesn't allow enough time for me to generate ideas. and maybe the answers that I got from him is a bit vague thats requires me to get back and think!


and Please, this final year is so scary. Salute to those who managed to grad with first class honour and thats what i have been dreaming since i was in college :D Hopefully Allah grant my prayer.

And I really miss my BMW now. it is all day in Bristol and not coming to sheffield. so sad that I couldn't see it everyday. but its okay. small matter i guess.

okay, i guess I have to read something now. I've got usrah to attend this evening :D may Allah bless us :) keep the heart clean by remembering, worshipping Allah.. reciting and dua'..

have a blessed day!

Salam alaikum :)

A small reflection

sabar itu bukan mudah, tapi kena sabar kerana ada ganjaran bagi orang yang sabar.

betul la dan betul sangat la yang Allah bersama orang yang sabar sebab bukan senang nak bersabar. hanya oran yang diuji tahu apa erti sabar.lagi berat ujian tu lagi susah nak capai sabar tu. yang tengah type ni pun tengah tahan sabar sampai merah muka. i believe my muka tgh merah skrg. mane tak geramnye, library packed gila hari ni, susah gila nak jumpe tempat duduk, hari ni pulak kena guna computer library sebab nak guna software, selepas 3 minit akhirnya dapat PC. lega.

tapi memang kesabaran teruji, keyboard ni ade huruf2 yang kurang sensitif so kena tekan kuat2 which is annoying. then duduk pulak sebelah sorang manusia yang cakap non stop. cakap slow aku tak kisah, ni cakap kuat and tak henti2. Allah... menguji kesabaran btul.. aku end up terpaksa bangun jalan2 cari ketenangan. mmg takde pc lebih skrg, packed. so, last resort is pasang algu guna earphone at the loudest volume supaya aku tak dgr ape yg dia sembang non stop tuuu... harap sgt ade pc lain yang available lepas ni sbb aku tak suka buat kerja sambil dgr lagu kuat2 macam ni... unless i do mathematics. when i do mathematitics, i like musics to stimulate my brain. now, i need peace! to think and type my marketing management assignment!
 bersabarlah.

Final Year Project Presentation

Assalamualaikum..

Rasa dah lama sangat tak update blog ni, last sekali update masa beli kereta.. Alhamdulillah, kereta okay2 aje :)

Hari ni rasa lega sangat, syukur Alhamdulillah.. presentation pertama dah selesai :)) terima kasih Allah sebab permudahkan... kadang2 rasa tak deserved untuk mendapat pertolongan dari Allah, tapi kita ni hamba Allah,  nak mintak tolong pada sapa lagi....

Hari ni 18 November 2013, genap 23 tahun mak dan abah mendirikan rumah tangga... tak sempat nak wish sebab rushing here and there hari ni.. walaupun umur dah 23 tahun, dah ade suami, tapi perangai still macam kanak2 , tak call rumah sehari rasa rindu...

tapi okay pulak aku hidup kat Sheffield ni dah 3 minggu tak jumpe suami :)) kekuatan tu Allah beri dan Allah ambil semula..

Masih lagi busy dengan final year project, assignments, dan persiapan untuk apply kerja. For now, I decided to apply both work and PhD... mana dapat, itu yang aku sambar :))

will update some photos of today later :))

got to back to work.
Semoga Allah merahmati kita..